Notes of a Caregiver

Just read this article in regards to a medical study which states that high levels of Cholestorol in mid-life significantly leads to an increase in Alzheimer’s later in life.

“This is the first study, to our knowledge, to show that not only high cholesterol, but also borderline high cholesterol, is associated with dementia,” says Dr. Rachel Whitmer, senior author in the study.

Finding out things that prevent the onset of Alzheimer’s is another step in improving your lifestyle and health now and later in life. Having a healthy heart, leads to a healthy mind. This is an important step in prevention rather than resigning that Alzheimer’s just arrives due to old age.

“We need to start thinking about risk factors for dementia in middle age, and cholesterol is a risk factor for dementia that is somewhat modifiable,” said Whitmer, a research scientist and epidemiologist at the Kaiser Permanente Division of Research in Oakland, California.

Just something to think about for caregivers fearing their health.

I think one of the biggest things you can learn as a caregiver is to find the little things that help you get through the day. One of the most stresful aspects of dealing day to day, is specifically keeping a positive attitude when life seems to be pressuring you into a corner. It’s an attribute and coping mechanism easily overlooked, but can be one of the biggest weapons in your arsenal with coping.

This can be easily applied to anyone trying to cope with stress and frustrations of living. Learning to keep a smile and hold on to the good that happens in your life is a harder task than it sounds. Often a caregiver is the brunt of blame or accusations for the patients current dilemma. Learning to let go of the simple frustrations, on top of the things that may compound a situation, can root you in the present, and help you through your day.

One day I stopped by my parents place to check in on my father. As soon as I walked through the door, he already looked flustered. He was searching for his eyeglasses. I spent half an hour searching the house for them. I finally found the glasses sitting on the bathroom counter. I gave them to him, and within 5 minutes he had lost them again. These are small inconveniences that can add much more stress and trouble than it’s worth. If I were to take it personally and let the best of the situation take hold, snapping back at him in frustration, it would have brought both of us in worse moods. I smiled my way through it, and looked at my father. He smiled back, and I noticed they were in his shirt pocket. I prompted him to look in his pocket, allowing him to search and find them on his own, and he was pleased to know they were there as well.

Learning to adjust to simple inconveniences with a smile, allows you to manipulate caregiving situations to your advantage. It keeps you positive rather than piling the simple frustrations till you can’t take it anymore.

It’s been seven years since my father was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. He was diagnosed with early onset Alz when he was 56. This is a very young age to be diagnosed with such a debilitating disease. The disease affects everyone differently. Some people live long lives after first being diagnosed, slowly losing their mental and physical faculties through the years. Others live only a few months, rapidly losing their memory day to day.

My family and I have been fortunate enough (if you can call it that) to relate to the former. It’s given us time to recognize and prepare for what’s to come. This allows us to make the most of the time with my father. Recently I’ve been taping conversations both audio and video, trying to capture as much as we can to remember who he is rather than what’s to come.

I know that the changes affect my father day to day. You can see if he’s having a good day or bad day as soon as you walk through the door. On the good days he instantly responds and smiles to your presence. Cracking jokes or asking about the people he cares about.
On the bad days, his eyes look lost and agitated. You can sense he’s trying to grasp where he is. There are times when you see depression set in, his face and emotion withdrawn in complete disarray. He’s at a state where he clearly understands he has Alzheimers. When his emotions kick in and are confused by his memories, he’ll often have fits and arguments, trying to reconcile his memory with reality. After the episode he realizes what he’s done and falls into a bit of sadness, knowing he’s emotionally hurting my mother when he doesn’t mean to. It’s hard on him, but I know it’s harder on my mother who is the primary caregiver.

She has come a long way to accept what’s going on, but the daily stresses of my dad’s incessant questions, bouts of anger and confusion, and simple tasks of caregiving are taking a toll. My brother, wife and I take turns checking in on him daily, but there are times when my mother is to afraid to burden or ask for our help. It’s frustrating when my dad’s own brothers and sisters live their own lives not caring enough to check in, or watch or even know how he’s doing. It angers me so much that they treat him like he’s already gone. Most of them rarely visit. Only one truly comes around often enough showing compassion. I’ve distanced myself from my father’s relatives because of it. I hate that my mom has to reach out to them. They should take proactive steps to spend time with their brother. Yet they selfishly focus on their own lives. This sounds like another post, and it most likely will be. For now I’m venting.

We take his moments day to day, more so than in the past. We know he has an off day when his face changes. There are also moments now, when we see part of the depression set in. We try to keep him in positive spirits, and for the most part, he tries to keep himself in positive spirits when he forgets things.